Seeing harmless social media post could trigger people feel bad of theirselves. Maybe, it is including me. Sometimes I can be triggered and feel less worthy because of a social media post. The feeling of less smart, less acceptable and other 'less' that gonna be a big issue for myself.
The urge for competition always emerge inside me. The little me inside always want to be the best, the quickest and the strongest. The little me always need validation for being the best me. However, the little me always forget that the better me is enough without the further validation from others.
Lately, there are more of good news from people, people are getting married, people are achieving their dream career, people are on holiday with their best friends and people achieving a better school than mine. My inner child again screamed that I am not good enough. That I am still less acceptable, less good, less smart and less beautiful. The inner me always feel the lacking of myself.
I have gone through so many life moments that encourage me to be grateful and be at peace with my inner child. Sometimes I win, sometimes I lose and feel the unworthy moments again. However, everytime the feeling would appear, I start to remember and aware that it does not need to impact on my self-worth. I can still breath. I can still work on my own and possess my own dream life, including what I want to have, achieve and allow to go.
The moment when I feel stuck and less motivation (just like now) is the hardest part to focus on myself. I really need to take a break with (maybe) talking to people. However, talking to people who willing to understand feels very difficult these days. In the end, it is literally just me, and how I can cope this feeling to God. I understand that the bad feeling might not disappear in an instant but the relieving and letting go is the best I could have now.
oh one more, I always can tell my feeling safely here and so does everybody else with their own platform. I understand that the way of people feel might be the weapon of something big because controlling the emotions = controlling ourselves. so, for more and more (better) emotions management?
The news of more and more people achieving would never be stopped. The ability to control is mine which should be trained and suggested to have more and more peaceful mind. The good human start from a good mind right? So let's just conquer the day by stop feeling lacking, eating more good food, seeing more beautiful park and just bear with the boredom of not opening social media
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