https://www.cntraveller.com/article/travel-guide-edinburgh
I love solitude, I am. But sometimes, I feel lonely too if I spend too much time in my room, alone or explore London by myself too much. In some time, I feel that I could not socialize well and too much structured.
When I went to London for the first time, I feel the excitement inside, to explore this city, to be far again with my family and construct a new 'me'. But infact, this excitement turn to sadness when I realize this life has never been this lonely before.
When I was in Jakarta, I spent most of my time with my boyfriend. We met everyday as we just matched doing things back then, to explore the same mall, go to park, stroll around, and just talk at the cafe. He made my day in Jakarta so colorful by only talking, eating dinner together and taking me ride around Jakarta.
It was different with London. I come to realize that life may be this surprising. When I think he would show in every important moment of my life, it was wrong. On my departure day to London, on my very first day here, I long him a lot. We used to do things together, but here, I am alone.
On the next 2 month, I made some friends, we talked a lot and laughed too, explore this city never been this good before. I have people take my photos-which is wonderful-and enjoy some food together. However, it was still different with him. I really want to take him here to enjoy how strong London wind is, and how cold it is when I stroll Covent Garden too far.
I came to the phase when my assignment are just too much. I exaggerate the thinking process, I just could not understand how to write English well. I frustrated when I think I have done well but there is more that I didn't know. Although I enjoy the task, increasing my capacity though, but still the time are just limited.
I miss him. We used to do assignment together. We used to talk about my frustration of my work. He used to comfort me. No one does here, or at least no one I can ask to. The negative feeling sometimes went to him because I think he just didn't exist here. He was far away.
I don't know what kind of life moment it is. The excitement of living in London, The desperation of longing my lover, And the embracement of lone; all of this feeling just mixed. I never want to pass this life fast. But I want to bear it whenever it get tough. I hope I will
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